Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #1,026,914!

“Don’t trust everything you read on the internet.” AI search results: what if I did tho

Hello, 911? He’s back. Yeah, on his pony. Sticking feathers in his hat, calling it macaroni

Happy Circulatory System Wandering Through the Kitchen Day to all who celebrate!

ME: welcome to my man cave. PROCTOLOGIST: please stop calling it that.

Poltergeists were invented when husbands didn't want to admit that they'd come home drunk at 3 am and made a huge loud mess in the kitchen, so they made up a weird little guy for their wives to get mad at

The difference between Sci-fi and fantasy is that if you like Sci-fi you're a fucking nerd and if you like fantasy you're a fucking geek.

can’t wait for this guy to put a microchip inside my skull

Honestly there are worse things that can happen to an American politician during a play