so much microplastics in my balls my son is gonna be a lego

call and check on your mom

Miss Ireland 2024

Shout out to when doctors used to prescribe heroin and tell you to “move out west”.

I hope to keep it that way

I'd settle for an airstrike on a few Kolkata police stations. They're so laden with bribes they should just sink into the earth. New Delhi needs to send in some federal swagger & fuck up the key players, for lack of a better mission statement.

Sobeys apparently less concerned about my escooter bursting into flames than my landlord.

Not-yet-discontinued food: Frozen PB&J sandwich. $13 CDN.

. There once was a man from Hunt, who got limericks and haiku confused

My MC "Mr Fart" (named by a 12yr old) would be eerily zen but he'd give you 0 seconds of warning before he'd 'bark' & put a red slit across the closest human flesh he could reach.