treating myself to a 5 course meal (4 tums and an edible)

we become more like our parents every day! I am constantly mad at children

For your birthday I got you a jar of premade cream cheese frosting with three moderate spoonfuls scooped out

therapist keeps scribbling in her notebook and muttering “mid” under her voice

Me: hey al Pacino what’s your favorite Ethan hawke box office flop Al Pacino, actor: GATTACA! GATTACA!

Gimme Magritte, boys, and free my soul / Ceci n’est pas une rock ‘n’ roll / Green apple face

Point: I can’t stand the rain By missy “misdemeanor” Elliot Counterpoint: actually rain is good By a plant

(I dash my priceless crystal decanter of red wind into the fireplace while wearing a silk robe) You don’t understand, Prudence! I am one of the 8%… I shall never feel the warmth of cilantro’s embrace…

it is unlikely I will ever have a structured settlement but need cash now, however, I am still cursed with the knowledge of the warding hex

making butterscotch is not as easy as it sounds. you would think you just put both words together but that’s not it at all on an unrelated note I am not fit to drive home from this bake sale