As I age, everyone younger than me becomes either 17 or 33, and I remain a rough contemporary of all of them.

all ages are “a baby boy, an infant” or “my fellow youths” or “ancient crypt keeper specimen” and there is no in between allowed

As I stare down my impending "Wilford-Brimley-when-he-was-cast-in-Cocoon" birthday, I'm feeling a growing disconnect between "how I feel," vs "how I expect someone my age to feel". Old doesn't actually feel that old.

My (older) cousin told me I'm not allowed to be any older than 25 because of what it means for HER age, so we decided around her, I'm 25. Always.

"Lord, to be 33 forever.""Lord, to be 33 forever."