making up a guy to get mad at and imagining him in enough detail that I start to understand where he's coming from...maybe he's not so bad after all

The price of trains is truly ruining my life, am I gonna have another stupidly skint month for the sake of one return train journey, or am I gonna take the coach and have more money but it takes 3x as long

Every time I take off my work lanyard, without fail, I say “the old ball and chain”. It’s not funny anymore!

Best time I ever had on twitter was when everyone was sharing what little jokes they always do. Someone said that they say “ah yes, the famous crooked spire of chesterfield” any time they saw any church spire

This was back when the first dune came out

Just remembered a meme I dreamed which was a photo of a bottle nose dolphin with the text “ppl keep talking about Timothy chalamet, when they should be asking, shall I marry you (to a girl)”

If they had the first world war now, woke soldiers would spend it writing poems and being gay

When it was one set of plans it was like oh ok sounds fine. Now it’s 3 plans and now I don’t want to do any of them? I’ll probably regret this but oh well

Might just… fuck everyone off whose invited me to do things today…