I've designed a phone without all the annoying apps and features. There's just one big button you smash that says WIFE and it calls your wife. If you don't have a wife then you practice with it for when you do

I love to store fat in various parts of my body in order to increase my chances of surviving periods of famine

Aww you have regrets? I have pregrets. I regret things that haven't even happened yet

It breaks my heart to see you suffer like this...can you go suffer somewhere in private

That's right

I don't really care about the particulars of any posting app, I just at all times need a website for my sentences

It's fine to judge a book by its cover, you'll be right most of the time

It's actually "low key weird" for an adult man to have lots of hair. Grow up and start balding

That's the mystery

I may be at a point in my life where I need to get a big orange cat