Well, I cleaned the great goddamn out of my office to appease the house-elf, and she has returned my fountain pen collection, my Xacto knives, and the extremely sharp German scissors. You can't argue with results.

CW, perhaps you should gift your house-elf with this tome. It is my go-to tome for all things relating to personal organization. DB asked about our Wi-Fi node, told her it was in the second pile, two layers down. She found it. (You will have to click the link,) tinyurl.com/perfmess07