Have you got the same IQ as a wild canine dog? Then you’re an alpha male, congratulations.

Nice little walk this evening, not be as many when winter comes.

Just give up on dating folks. Instead, drive around country roads looking for overturned cars in ditches, pull out 1 survivor from the wreckage & take them home pretending you’re nursing them better. They’re bound to fall in 🥰with you but keep a sledgehammer handy just in case they’re not feeling it

Aw, hell, I've gone and did it again. Went out to buy some milk and came right back home with it when I was supposed to have abandoned my family. What am I like, I’m such a scatterbrain.

The earth spins at around half a kilometre a second, which is how I always feel dizzy when I come out of the pub.

The Queer Starmer stuff is disturbing. Could go after him for being in the pockets of the worst lobbyists/donors, his kowtowing to Murdoch or his austerity cuts on kids/OAPs/Disabled. No need for the puerile stuff the right wing are coming at him with.

Harper’s Magazine subscription. Donald went with the Slovenian Brides subscription.

About 3 Prime Ministers too late for the too far right excuse, been that way since De Pfeffel Johnson was in office but better late than never.

"I want to be your protector... "

Elon Moobs or Melon Bust.