But it's worth it, because it means that when he climbs into lwj's lap it's as his boyfriend, and when they make it to the bedroom neither of them put on a condom, and nobody hears from them until Monday, when they show up for work together, wwx beaming. /fin Short and silly today, hope you enjoyed!
And when he shows up to wwx's apartment, he makes them have an adult conversation about boundaries and expectations etc, because if this is his shot, he's going to make damn sure it doesn't bounce off the rim. wwx can't look at him for half of it because "if I look at you, I'll need to kiss you."
He'd think he was having a stroke. Or maybe a break from reality? It's right there, in black and white pixels. "Anything you wanted." There are suggestions, if he needs, as *if* he'd need help in that department after 13 years of wanting to - He makes himself wait until he knows wwx will be awake.
And in the morning (well, afternoon), find that drunk wwx had sent the damn thing. Meanwhile lwj has been up since 5am rereading the words "You could do anything you wanted to me and I'd like it because it was you. Even better if you made it hurt, marked me up, so everyone knew I was yours."
There's a trope out there about writing a letter that's never meant to be delivered and I think it would go well here. wwx would be up late, drunk and thinking about lwj, and just wanting to get it out of his system, and he'd sit down and bang out a 500 word email about wanting lwj to come in him.
Of course wwx is losing his mind because he doesn't know how to make it any clearer to lwj that he - Lan Wangji, Lan Zhan, him specifically - is welcome to do more than stare at him with intensity that borders on anger and makes wwx want to drop to his knees. What does he have to do, use his words?!
It's just a lot harder not to jack off about it when he knows how wwx's breath feels against his neck, or his hand squeezing his bicep. wwx blows him a kiss as he leaves for the train one day and it takes immense willpower not to chase him down and kiss him properly.
It's not that it's harder to ignore, it's that lwj's brain gets more sensory input that it commits to memory. wwx puts him up against the wall, a hand on either side of his head, to tell him he looks pretty today and lwj smells his shampoo, sees a nick from a razor on his jaw, can imagine licking it
wwx who is more aware of his effect on people, and is correspondingly devastating? When he flirts with lwj, he's still just trying to rile him up, but but he's more intentional about it. Borderline predatory. In lwj's space, speaking close and quiet, radiating heat against him.