You know the planet Jupiter? Well, not quite as big as that, but like, at least 9/10ths.

What most punters aren't aware of is Biden's encounter with a paid Dracula just prior - he'll be back, as both Commander In Chief and Creature Of The Night. I believe this will give him a bump in the polls once the public gets used to having an undead Dracula In Chief. I mean, worked for Ford.

Why didn't Biden use his final statement to announce a unilateral ruling that Firefly will be brought back for a guaranteed 5 seasons under penalty of torture?

Yes, but those haircuts! You could set your watch to them. And don't even start me on the suits! Chef's kiss! Also I've seen better debate moderation in a stand-up drunken bar fight about which version of Bewitched's Darrin was better.

Oh now Ukraine is Biden's fault? Interesting.

I saw Caddyshack once on television, so that part really spoke to me.

This is the 9/11 of Challenger disasters.

Let me be the first to say that Goat have mercy, because we're going to have Trump 2.0, and it will be the worst thing ever, 'cause Biden's just not effective tonight. He sounds like he ate a full ashtray. Also, what IS the air pressure out there- and I'm not talking about Trump's trouser emissions.

For the love of all that's holy, can someone give Biden a cough lozenge? Also, this is so damn sad - my late father talked like this at end stage Parkinson's. Like, exactly like this. I mean, Trump is just spewing lies but confidently. And the problem is, no-one will remember that. Just Biden...

"Do Not Resuscitate" tattoos can be highly useful in a number of circumstances, but it does turn out that you cannot go around forcing random people to get them on their faces. It's frowned upon (I think - it's hard to see if there's a frown under the tattoo ink)