*giving the eulogy at Meat Loaf’s funeral* nobody knows why he was called that but it was probably because of how awful his penis looked

Me, holding a giant novelty fork: “I think I misudnerstood”

my lawyer is advising me to clarify that i have no personal knowledge of Meat Loaf’s penis nor its alleged resemblance to any ground beef-based products

i think it’s because he said being forced to wear a mask on a plane was equivalent to nazis, while he himself had asthma. it’s because he had a meatloaf for a brain

Seems I’m missing out, I seem not to understand

I can’t believe this is how I found out!

Wiping tears from my eyes: No, I won't do that

Like Captain Beefheart?