putting on the Sephora spider swarm lotion and shotgunning a Panera lemonade to see which takes me out first

remember that the only way to get them now is to say “daddy, please”

would we even notice the heat death from a meteor at this point

I understand that’s a normal and acceptable temp for certain places but absolutely not where I reside

ENERGIZE ME, DADDY

debating about turning the AC on since I’m hot and it is 15.5C outside on christmas day because the earth is dying

Merry Christmas from Seoul ✨

I fuckin love you

la veille de Noël. c'est le temps de souffrir.

I need to go outside and milk the creature for fresh nog for the weekend