I cried my eyeballs out with Modigliani.

No, dictatorship all the way when it comes to lawnmowers and leaf blowers 🥴

Happy Beavday Maple! The branch manager is 7 today

Make it make sense when it doesn’t make sense and on top of that it resists to make any sense of it not making sense.

A few people tried, but the cops are all friends with him so they just end up at his doorstep chatting with him and leaving. His wife doesn’t let him do that whenever she’s in town. It’s a really fun night when we get him and the 6am lawn mowing lol

My neighbor is an ex-cop with severe PTSD. He is always out at 2-3am with his leaf blower. I cannot even tell you.

It should be illegal to turn on a lawnmower at 6am. It should be added to their user manual: DO NOT TURN ON/USE BEFORE 10AM.

Have a few different scenarios and examples from your past experiences. They will ask for sure and you wanna have multiple instances. Ask questions, they love that. Do something beforehand to take the edge off. And have goals. Keep it simple but not cliche.

I think when we think about conserving energy we should think about the number of fucks we have to give. You start the day with a certain number of fucks. It’s finite. Spend ‘em wisely. Think to yourself: is this how I want to give a fuck today?

My absolute all time favorite cocktails is a Sazerac. 1 1/4 ounces rye whiskey 1 1/4 ounces cognac 1/4 Absinthe 1/2 teaspoon cold water 3 dashes Peychaud’s bitters 2 dashes Angostura bitters 1 sugar cube Garnish: lemon peel