This is why I typically frame difficult conversations around boundaries instead of respect, even if I feel disrespected
Omg.... That's exactly the thing...
I think one of the reasons authoritarian right wing types hate when minorities / lgbt+ folks demand respect is because they're so used to the "treat me like an authority" definition that they assume that's what we want, instead of hearing our request to "be treated like a person"
And this so confuses us Autistics, because, well... "I, am treating you with respect. How am I not? Yet, you don't reciprocate? Is this not how we were told to do things?"
Similarly, with people whose belief system was forced on them due to their upbringing/locale. Respect means you must state that their beliefs are true and correct, not just "ok I accept you believe that even if I don't" They had no choice but to submit to the authority, ergo you must do too.
Sad but true
And never have I seen this more true than in boomer parents.