I made pumpkin pie from scratch today (including the pumpkin puree from REAL ACTUAL pumpkins!) then I ate some with friends who came over for lunch, and then they left, and I lay on the couch and did this. 10/10 Sunday.
I made fried purple daikon mochi tonight for the first time and it is GOOD.
Anyway, Iāve been copping this shit about being selfish from my aunts and uncles for years. Itās tedious.
Instead Iāve found ways to relate to, contribute to, & engage w my community. And my engagement with my community has also meant that I 100% understand othersā desires to be parents. It seems an inability to have empathy on that score means this person IS too inward-oriented.
My not having kids isnāt an unfortunate byproduct of circumstance. Iāve been married since I was 24 & had ample chance to pursue parenthood while having a career. Thereās this idea that avoiding parenthood is a greedy journey towards self-actualization. Iāve been self-actualized this whole time.
The other bizarre thing about the piece is it reduces the motivations women have for not having kids to 3 things: infertility, ambition, or not having a partner. Has no one heard of just not wanting to? I like kids just fine. But Iāve been telling ppl since I was 13 that I donāt want them.
āIām being selfless because Iām doing what I want to do!ā <<blinks>>
Finally getting around to this weekās outrage NYer piece of the month, and my absolute favorite thing in the world is this demented bit of logic that insists one personās pursuit of self-fulfillment isnāt individualistic because it involves making a baby. Delicious.
![says one mother, a former corporate lawyer with six kids. "It's the opposite of what the culture world tell you, I think, which is that [this] is a cage." For these women, giving up their individual freedom by having kids led them to a deeper sense of purpose and joy.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:ofzkhjyyh4kl4a35wxgmobmm/bafkreidthorkcz7amyv4waspyzescodmd6n5wkkpwywgur2yet55b3udmy@jpeg)
A gal could get used to this.* *No she canāt; two dogs is thrice the work. But these moments of repose are worth it.
