“and she comes up to me, tears in her eyes—this is a big strong potaoe farmer, tears in her eyes, can you believe? she says, sir, ‘it’s time for your humiliation ritual, sir,” & she takes off my binder & my tits spill out & she gives me a terrible muumuu & i look in the mirror & realize she’s me.”
I AM ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY SHIT OUT HERE. I AM BRIGHT RED. I AM CRYING AND COUGHING. there are 18,000 people in this facebook group all nodding in comprehension of “the humiliation rituals” and “melania, a known man (like all first ladies).” they’re reading along & going, “the rituals. sure sure.”
"We know that anyone famous must participate in the "humiliation rituals" where they show their us their true gender. We also know there's no exceptions to this rule."
was that guy also this guy? could be.
i tended bar with a totally different guy who would shush the whole room whenever derek jeter was at bat. for years. no matter how busy we were. he shushed a group of vet techs consoling each other about losing a dog that ate a whole tube of gorilla glue. “ladies, shhhh—the captain’s at the plate.”
i would simply prefer not to feel devastating guilt and sadness for doing almost literally anything because of its opportunity cost.
accidentally just spent two hours of my weekend trying to crack a poem, which is not technically a waste of time, but i don’t really write poetry anymore & i had so many other plans for tonight. i just really wish i hadn’t burned all my damn pto on obligations to other people and surgical recovery.
The full list of things that aren't on the ballot in the US is probably pretty staggering. Surgical care for trans youth, Immigration policy, spam calls, genocide cessation, pain legalization, social media censorship. All things that are huge issues with no way to vote against the status quo.
i adore rollercoasters & i tried to explain why to someone who hated them. they said, “the whole ride feels like dying.” i actually agreed. i ODed a few times & every time there was a flash where i was like, “shit, this is maybe it.” but i was so miserable & so high my reaction was, “ok, neat!” 1/2
This was the last thing keeping me on Twitter—getting notifications of new NWS posts for a few accounts sent as alerts (in NYC, anyway, it’s faster and more detailed than the city alert system) so this is great (also it’s unbelievable how much Twitter was part of US weather emergency infrastructure)