Google, 1998: We're going to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful. Imagine the whole world's knowledge in your pocket! Google 2024: Drink your own piss. Now eat glue.

The Massachusetts "millionaires tax" has vastly surpassed projections, bringing in more than $1.8 billion in revenue so far this fiscal year — with the prospect of a surplus of hundreds of millions of dollars to spend on transportation and education

State’s ‘millionaires tax’ has already generated $1.8 billion this year, blowing past state projections - The Boston Globe

The estimated haul is already $800 million more than what Governor Maura Healey and state lawmakers planned to spend from its revenue in fiscal year 2024.

It is really fucked up that we made driving the main mode of transportation in 90% of the country as an actual political choice when there are large populations of people everywhere who can’t or shouldn’t drive

Idk how anyone can deny climate change is real when cop riot season is starting two whole months earlier than usual

NEWS: My friends and I now own and run The Onion. I’ll be the CEO. We’re keeping the entire staff, bringing back The Onion News Network, and will share the wealth with staff. Basically, we’re going to let them do whatever they want. Get excited.

The Onion Is Sold by G/O Media

The satirical news website was bought by a new firm in Chicago that took inspiration for its name, Global Tetrahedron, from a book written by The Onion’s staff.

I try not to think about it but every so often I dwell on how stupid you have to be to believe in Q Anon. We always hear “My sister was a smart person! It can happen to anyone.” and that’s just not true. It can’t happen to anyone. Your sister isn’t smart.

anytime i’m facing an especially hated or arduous task, i like to give myself a little treat beforehand to encourage myself to get it done. it’s called a ‘pre-ward’ and it absolutely does not work