Like Biden, my inner monologue just sounds like the icemaker refilling itself at 1AM.

After doing some research I am very sorry to announce that the Icelandic Tooth Fairy is NOT some kind of fucked up goblin that leaves soup in your kid's boot but is, in fact, an extremely standard tooth fairy. Very disappointed in you, Iceland.

I'm gonna come right out and say that Father's Day isn't a real holiday like Christmas or Administrative Professional's Day

Family has come to visit and like every year they will arrive with luggage stuffed with Icelandic candy and depart with edibles and Cheez Whiz.

Dyskinesia Muffin

Now it means "This pickup truck has free guns in it."

Me in bed, edibles kicking in: "Do adults have outie belly buttons or is that a thing that goes away as you get older?" My wife:

Excellent ad placement.

Here we go

I have a friend who works in purchasing at a crime lab and some of our chats seem unreal.