i needed emotional coregulation. i’m grateful i have friends now who understand my neurodivergence and have taught me skills for how to deal with that and who come over to just sit with me or go do errands together for a bit. healing is found in community. all victims and survivors need community.

in other words, if ur asking urself why some bitch is acting out, it’s prolly, to some extent, bcz of a lack of privilege (in terms of coregulation) sure, there can be other causes but it’s the most compatible with occam’s and heinlein’s razors both

coregulation is a precursor to capacity for self regulation capacity for self regulation is, in this light, literally a privilege, or a kind of power even with some capacity for self regulation as an adult, access to ongoing coregulation is still a privilege!!!

ok there aren’t videos that are quite as great for coregulation, at least to the point of being worth a thread of their own, but some thoughts related to the ones i’m watching and the wiki article!!!

the anecdote he gave to illustrate the above quote also points to the importance of coregulation implicitly, and that was already one of the things i wanted to look into next, what coregulation really means, the mechanisms thereof. bcz i think it's what i lack most, unfortunately.

that's what lacking coregulation is really like, especially from a background of complex trauma you don't have the full capacity for self regulation (this is instilled by coregulation in childhood and adolescence), and in any case, self regulation is always fundamentally limited anyway

today i am feeling p hopeless and i am trying my best anyway i need coregulation so badly i need to not just be around people but to be deeply loved by them, supported in all the messy complexity of my life i do not see that coming any time soon but i am going to try my best anyway

i could yea i'm just struggling at much more basic levels overall rn i really need basic coregulation; someone to be around in person who gives a fuck and can learn about all this idk how to do that tho; the most pragmatic options i know of are truly fucking awful (dating cishet boys, ugh)

dissociation is relational an individual, most of the time, can’t do it without others doing it to them simultaneously put differently, dissociation is the extreme inverse of coregulation and attunement

Breathe - and try to do no harm A blog - 1 min read #nvr#nonviolentresistance#parenting#therapeuticparenting#responsiveparenting#connectiveparenting#regulation#coregulation#windowoftolerance#selfcompassionelainenichollsnvr.com/post/breathe

Breathe

When things are going well it's easier to be intentional in our parenting. It's much more of a challenge when we're out of our window of tolerance & in survival mode.With the things that go on, someti...