Ha, silly me, kiddo will be up even earlier when the clocks change. Anyone got fun things to do at 4am? #ParentLife

Still awake at 0240. Toddler woke up at 2330 and just got back to sleep. I need to be up to go to the office in ~3 hours. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. #parentlife#fuckmandatedofficedays

Today's temper tantrum du jour. She wants a freezy, right f'n now. Not in a half hour with lunch. #parentlife#tinytoddlertempertantrum

Drove down and helped my son move his stuff into his new place, for which I am rewarded by being allowed to buy him a meal #parentlife

Up in the middle of the night with my toddler. This morning, I feel like death on a cracker, and she's running around like a gerbil on speed. This is not fair. #parentlife

Picked my 7yo up from school. He has tomoato sauce on his chin, white gloopy stuff in his hair, and his sweatshirt is on inside-out and back-to-front. Now he’s running through the house and squawking. Gonna need my gin stash tonight 🫠 #parentlife

What do you get excited to do with your teenager? My daughter and I are so fired up for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice! She knitted a sandworm hat #Beetlejuice#ParentLife

My 7yo is progressing to new heights in bedtime-avoidance: Why am I me, and not someone else? Why is the sun yellow? Where was I before I was born? How do engines work? Why do we die? How do crabs wee? 🦀 #parentlife

Celebration over...back to #parentlife#anniversary#coupletime#momlife#writerslife

My cartoon in Scout Life magazine and then the original version I submitted. They had me get rid of the clubs to make it less violent. #cartoon#gagcartoon#parenting#parentlife#parentmemes#parentingmemes#funny#humor