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AHamoridere.bsky.socialSep 26, 2024 8:27pm

"this might be my fate." written during a spiral. #poetrytwitter #freeverse #poem #shortpoem #musings #darkpoetry #spiraling #tumblr #ftd #mentalillness #mentalhealthwoes #realitysubtext #illgirl #aging #motherwound #motherwnddaughter #melancholy #depression #anxiety

someone who lived closed to her
spiraled into frothing at the mouth

she prayed that they were found
though she felt she wouldn't be found
no, for her, it would likely be too late

her mother's developed dementia
she's 27, her mother will be 55
another pang

would she spiral out of control
and depart

or would she lose her mental faculties entirely
and wish she had?

Did she have a future at all?
Or would the possibility even be worth looking forward to?

AHamoridere.bsky.socialJun 17, 2024 3:51pm

"Pills and Bleach" #NoTriggerWarnings #Poetry #ShortPoem #Freeverse #signatured #realitysubtext #heartbreak #death #broken

Pills and Bleach

If she had a gun,
She'd just shoot herself

If she had razors,
She'd quietly bleed out

If she didn't have faith,
She'd have already brought the poison

She sat, idly
Knowing her knives aren't far

Neither were her pills
Or her cleaning supplies

She's never acted on them
But the idea is present

And she wonders.....
—Amoridere, 6/17/2024

AHamoridere.bsky.socialMay 6, 2024 12:15am

"Better to be Mauled" Further musings on that convo. #ManVsBear #Musings #mediumpoem #poetrytwitter #androphobia #animals #freeverse #realitysubtext #IPickBears

Better to be Mauled

It would be better to be mauled
Than to endure what cruelty a man could come up with

If she had to chose, she'd just get mauled
After all, an animal acts on its instincts
Humans premeditate

She's known how cruel men could be
Her experiences made her afraid of them
If she had to pick

She'd much rather be mauled
Such would be much more merciful
Than the alternatives

In enduring her experiences,
She wished she were taken

If she could have chosen,
She would have died just then

Her father was supposed to be her protector
Yet, he was her biggest bully

An older brother exploited her
An axe put in her back

Her stepfather made passes at her
And the realization sunk in
(Mother made her choice)

A boy was fond of her
But she didn't reciprocate
He chased her

Those were just a few
So, yes, prefering to be mauled was apt
After all, an animal following its instincts

Was kinder than premeditated cruelty
After all, were her fears unjustified?
—Amoridere, 5/2/2024

AHamoridere.bsky.socialApr 22, 2024 1:58pm

"Liberation" Good morning, y'all. #realitysubtext #freeverse #poetry #shortpoem #dysfunctionalfamily #signatured #poem #poetrytwitter #poetsonbluesky #praying #liberation

Liberation

She prayed for liberation

She's entertained a dynamic
One that wasn't good for her
And that she's entertained it for too long

Far too long
Than what her sanity should have allowed

This dynamic held her by a chain
Unseen shackles and she felt bound
Those chains had to be broken

Otherwise, she'd break
(in more ways than one)

These shackles will be broken
And her guilt will subside
But, mostly, she'd feel free

She prayed for liberation
For freedom from these shackles
For what's needed

She two decades and seven singular years old
And, now, her existence begins.
—Amoridere, 4/22/2024

AHamoridere.bsky.socialApr 13, 2024 5:35pm

"Boundaries" This my word of the day and I feel so much guilt. #poetrytwitter #dysfunctionalfamily #signatured #upset #longpoem #freeverse #mentalillness #boundaries #protectingyourpeace #offlinegoings #realitysubtext #sorrow

Boundaries.

She felt guilt
Guilt for this word

It felt like an ugly word
But it wasn't an ugly word
No, that was her guilt talking

She had these
And she'd make a point to enforce them
Damn everything else

However, it wasn't that simple
No, she would become small and quiet
Stomped on like a mouse

When she tried

Within, she was screaming
Berating herself for not having the strength
To put her foot down

She wanted to lash out
It's instinctive to lash out
However, it was just as instinctive

To remain a quiet mouse

(trauma response)

They wondered why she seemed distant
Or so upset with them

She had her peace to protect
And she didn't want to spiral—again
(as such would be worse)

This word felt ugly
It wasn't an ugly word
Yet, her guilt made it sting

She questioned her reasonings
She's oft conflicted about such matters
But she knew that some need these

And hers have been stomped on

No wonder she seemed so distant
No, she didn't have this word

She started to be more closed off

AHamoridere.bsky.socialDec 31, 2023 9:33pm

"Ariel's Legs" At times, I wonder if there's something deeper to Ariel wanting to be human. #Musings #Signatured #lastpoemof2023 #realitysubtext #musings #TheLittleMermaid #freeverse #familyissues #poetsofinstagram #poetrytwitter #shortpoem #Ariel #poetry

AHamoridere.bsky.socialNov 28, 2023 11:36pm

"Defective" Being born cursed, I find some solace in being "defective". #infertility #PCOS #freeverse #PoetryTwitter #Poetry #shortpoem #realitysubtext #familycurse #illgirl

AHamoridere.bsky.socialNov 26, 2023 9:50pm

"Stillbirth." A candid take on how today is. I'm never celebrating today again. #poetry #poetrytwitter #signatured #freeverse #brokenheart #natalday #upset #shortpoem #stillbirth #realitysubtext

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