just saw a tiktok of someone saying they’re “never buying garlic again” after they discovered “this hack” and literally planted garlic in their backyard and grew more. brother do u think u just discovered agriculture???
posting the same thing on twitter, bluesky and threads like a grandma with dementia who keeps repeating herself at dinner while the whole family ignores her
bro i was at the “loves unconditionally and will always be there for their friends” convention and everyone there knew you lmaoo
i hope this email finds u at ur lowest point. rock bottom. a juncture in ur life so wretched and foul that ur struggling to find joy in even the smallest of delights. a shell of the person u once were
saw a text and told myself i would reply later and forgot and now i haven’t spoken to my friends or family for 7 months hope they’re all doing okay
to the person behind me at the red light. yes i wasn’t paying attention and it turned green. u didn’t have to honk. i’m not perfect there i admit it. ur not perfect either. u lost custody of ur kids
my cat: [finally lets me pet it after several hours of trying] also my cat: [immediately licking clean the spot i just touched] that’s enough of that
i love pushing the trash down harder and harder every day as the can gets full so i never have to take it out. not unlike sisyphus
the LAST thing i have to do before going to bed is brush my teeth. and ur telling me the FIRST thing i have to do when i wake up is brush my teeth again? existence is hell