A friend I met this week in New Delhi, a scholar of the ideas of Gandhi, pointed out a distinction that struck me as profound and clarifying: If want to to effect positive change in the world by shifting people's views, our goal when presenting our ideas shouldn't be to "win" but to "win over." 1/3

The difference between "winning" and "winning over" is that "winning" emphasizes defeating interlocutors by "destroying" them and their arguments. "Winning over" persuades people to want to take your side, because the arguments are good, yes, but also because they find them—and you—admirable. 2/3