Whoever can remove this tape measure from the stone shall be granted the divine right to rule.

Have you cracked 9/11?

How did you get your name, King Fat Max?

lol I have the same one

Mmm it’s a Stanley fat max too. That’s a quality tape

(*breaking down the forms*) Hey Chris! I found your fucking tape you accused me of stealing on Thursday.

Honestly a little concerned by how many people don't understand this is already phrased as a pun

By Imperial right! (Not metric)

A perfect skeet

Bob the Builder origin story.

Challenge accepted