I just cannot turn off the expectation that I will only receive garbage from the universe, even when it is showering me with so many beautiful things. I expect the beautiful things to be barbs, something the universe gave for the sole purpose of snatching it away.

I keep telling myself that I wouldn’t be helped through this marathon just to be dumped an inch from the finish line (and there’s no finish line,, no end point to the journey) but also, wouldn’t that just be fitting?