cis people consistently conceptualizing gender transition as "what would make me decide to change my gender" instead of "if everyone saw me as the opposite gender, what steps would I take to fix that" is a huge cognitive limitation and I don't know how to solve it.

Just blew up/came out at my dad and his phobic wife in Texas after about 18 years of holding it in because it wasn't safe. He's never gonna fucking get it and it makes me violently angry

A trans friend of mine described it in a way that stuck: Imagine if you got the uncanny valley every time you looked in a mirror. Would you be OK with that? What would you do to fix that?

They seem to get it SOMETIMES when they are told from something approaching their point of view. Their immediate reaction of even thinking feeling dysphoric. And then they forget immediately. "Why can't you be a feminine gay guy" type things, "why can't you just be a butch lesbian" Their comfort

Exactly. They don't get it and most don't care to.

I think(CIS) I’ve always intuitively recognized that for folks transitioning they’re doing it because the gender they’re presently feels so wrong to them they’re willing to go through a scary surgery and dealing with everyone they know having opinions about it. I’ve always admired the courage.

I got my grandma to get it by making it about her rather than trans people. "You feel like a woman right?" "yes" "now imagine if you felt like you do now, but looked like [friend who is cis man]. Wouldn't that be weird?" "Oh I hadn't thought about it like that"