SCAM ALERT – IMPORTANT The cat has already been fed.
I swear to god, there was a Netflix teaser that started with “I’ve been a ~murder cop~ for over 40 years…” but neither I nor my husband nor Google can remember what the actual show was called and we’re starting to wonder if it was a shared hallucination.
In graduate school we had a cuvette reader that would randomly stop working, but I figured out exactly the right spot to thump to get it going again every time. Before I left that lab I drew a big ol’ X on that spot with a note saying “Fonz here.”
I’m an inverse-hipster. I get into stuff only after it STOPS being cool.
Happy by Pharrell. What the hell does “a room without a roof” fucking “feel” like?! JFC…
Except for the one Debate Kid I knew who grew up to be the world’s best educated and ferociously dedicated public defender, but he’s the exception that proves the rule.
It! Is! An! Expletive! Construction! Goddamnit! (She howls as she slashes wildly at a copy of Strunk and White).
I’ve always been a little sad that I’m neither a universal blood donor nor a universal plasma donor. But I do at least have a complete sentence for my blood type: Be Positive!
Literally all I have eaten today is croissants.