“Reach out if you need help” half of us are disabled and/or heavily traumatized and already feel like a burden for existing to the people who care about us, much less anyone else. Either reach out when you see someone is struggling or don’t pretend you care, don’t put the onus on someone suffering.

I've basically gotten into multiple arguments recently because I tried making this point. I've been told it's still my responsibility to fix myself, I shouldn't be making my friends my therapists, I'm not entitled to a social life etc

it's been extremely common for the person who says "reach out of you need help," "anything you need I'm here" etc to turn around and go "how dare you, I have boundaries" the second anyone actually asks for help

In my experience the bulk of people don't actually want to help, they just want to feel like they are helping. The moment they have to put in any effort that goes beyond their script for how it "should have gone" they either give up or abuse-jacket you for daring to need help at all.

yeah feeling like a burden for existing is my default and the hardest to get people to understand, especially since I'm too old at this point to be allowed to be sad

My experience of being adopted: “We’re here for you anytime … except when your adoption trauma becomes too inconvenient for us to process (at which point we’ll decide it’s actually a moral failing / character flaw you need to handle on your own).”

💖💖💖