I get the frustration with "Romantasy," in the sense that it's another bit of naked trend-chasing/branding by publishers, much as the YA Boom was. But a quick glance at the sheer amount of fantasy work being published these days gives the lie to the idea that the genre is being swamped by it

Well that or you're incel LARP'ist holding yourself to impossible standards.

I think my problem with what Ive read of it is that it reads like YA but with sex 😂

I don't know that the genre is being swamped by it, but store shelves in my area seem to be. I live in a rural area, so when I get to a shop and brows and see it full of romantasy, it makes browsing kind of suck. They've even got an actual ya series (glass throne) taking up a whole shelf.