I'm sexy but like in an awkward/hideous kind of way

I used to bring a bottle when showing up to a friend's house party... Now I bring my CPAP machine

I love watching all these people reconnect with Twitter mutuals, meanwhile I'm over here only having 5 followers and 3 of them were my alts

What in the fuck?

Whenever I get really sleepy my brain feels all mushy.. but not just any type of mushy, it's a Hershey chocolate bar left in direct sunlight in a 92 Ford escort in 100 degree weather kind of mushy

Anybody else sick of all the outgoing people on dating apps? Where are all the people that like staying home watching Netflix eating hot Cheetos?

I'm attempting to curb an addiction by developing a different one to BlueSky... It made sense for a few seconds so I'm commiting

wow, you were all really mean to my friend Pyraxias the Soul Eater. he signed up for bluesky expecting to engage openly with a diverse range of opinions, but you all kept telling him “eating souls is bad” “fuck off with the eating souls” “don’t eat my soul bro” etc

It's weird scrolling other social media sites after joining BlueSky... I never realized how much ads and promoted are between actual posts of people I follow

I know I say I like being single, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like someone to run Nightmare Dungeons with in Diablo 4