I am in Hell. I look to my left: a man is being lowered repeatedly into a boiling cauldron of lava. I shudder and look to my right: this woman has scorpions fed into her nostrils. No one must learn that I love mayo, which is being gently applied to my back and shoulders through some clerical error.

Reverse The Good Place

Prepping you to be the bread in a grilled cheese sandwich.

Plot twist: The Mayo is step 1. Step 2 is Ants

the actual torture is pretending you hate it for eternity and knowing you must keep this secret

"Oh no I am being tortured with classic video games. I am no gamer, demons! Fetch me philosophy and my blade!"

The torture is a psychological one. They want the guilt of you knowing you are not being tortured as bad as your neighbors to eat at your conscience

You weren't an evil enough person on earth so your punishment is just the constant fear of being found out

Maybe they love the lava and scorpions, and you are in high kink heaven

the mayo is actually a excellent soothing moisturizer for my skin, which has become somewhat dry and flaky in the searing infernal fires

Can you keep up the ruse for three billion years??