TRUE STORY: I time-traveled today! For a couple of minutes, I traveled back in time to 2007. You're probably thinking "Bad Guy Zero, how do you know it was 2007?" Because I saw a douchebag in an Affliction t-shirt.

Workday is over. Just put on an adult diaper. Let's get this In Depends Day started!

ADVICE: When given the opportunity to wager on Fireworks vs Babies, always bet on Fireworks.

‘I NEED A POSTER OF RITA HAYWORTH’

Wishing a joyous Drown In Lake Lewisville Day to all who celebrate!

I have the honor of being one of the recipients of a cease and desist order sent by Roger Corman, but like anyone who loves movies, I am deeply grateful to him for the gigantic impact he had on films and filmmakers. A true maverick. Rest In Peace.

If I was Jesus, today would be Christmas.

Wishing a happy Cinco de Mayo to all who celebrate. Mayo the fifth be with you! I don't celebrate because I hate mayonnaise.

Happy birthday to Elaine May, born this day in 1932.

Check out this great photo I took of the eclipse!