And, she said, he was extremely nice, unlike many famous authors very un-braggy - she had no idea who he was, other than a fellow author - and had clearly noticed she was feeling awkward and gone out of his way to talk to her. But listening to the podcast, she had felt how those qualities could be

both sincere *and* have the potential to use a very intense charm abusively. in particular she noted a kind of manipulative empathy, a 'both of us are in this together' used on people when he was actually in the driving seat.