I don't concern myself with squirrels. I'm too busy with the market.

I think it's nice that they got her bronzed.

He's still crying. Can you help?

If you order a pizza and also some extra pizza sauce and then slop it on the pizza and pop that bad boy in the oven at 350 for ten minutes they give you a MacArthur Genius Grant.

texting my boss "caltrops :(" and showing up two hours late

Playing the Fortnite map where you can talk to god but he won’t stop crying?

Making my BMs more efficient through yoga and manifesting.

people got mad at elvis for his posts too . then look what happened. he joined the army and killed every one

Take these ejaculation orders seriously and be safe!

I also plan to make landfall with devastating winds and torrential rain.