OK, who wants to take me out? Date or sniper rifle. Not fussy.

A tomato based sauce for the first lunch of term? Why do schools hate parents and specifically me and my sub-par laundry skills?

Bought an expensive ciabatta from an artisan bakery and its all fucking air.

Happy new year! I haven’t used this enough yet but I will, bear with 😅 2009-present is a lot of years of dependency to unlearn for the bird app

5 years after the final print Newspaper has ceased to exist, someone will invent a paper news website

🥧

Is it me or is Christmas consolidating itself even earlier than normal this year? It’s bloody everywhere already.. may as well just get the shorts back out at this point

how i look to gen z

I’ve still got one 🤓

the back of every police squad car has a "Secret Urinal"