like, i have read many a zine in which the words "currently working at Starbucks/Whole Foods/Some Random Bar" do not appear, despite that being the truth for most of the contributors.

I work in tech support. I put "fixes machines" in my author bio because I like to imagine someone might briefly think my day job is repairing battle damage on giant robots or something -- and for those nanoseconds I am cooler even than the twelve living people who make a living from writing alone.