Sad update. I no longer own any cows. I am cow free. Cowless.

That is.

I’m in the great Australian state of New Zealand

Outraged that part of Australia forms the proper word for it though

*southern

I climbed our highest hill and now I’m fucked because I’m a fat old man who doesn’t farm

They’re a menace in the garden.

No.

Welcome back to no town by the way.

I’m going to travel to Dublin Ireland with my significant other, then get down on one knee in front of that fountain and say “your love life’s a joke, you’re broke. Your love life’s DOA”