I've invented a new cognitive bias called unmotivated reasoning and it's about accepting whatever logic ends the conversation the quickest

When you don't want the shrimp to feel left out on Christmas Day

Yet again, it turns out that next year will be the first year I don't try to wrap the presents at 10pm whilst half cut

All I really want for Christmas is a remembrance spa. A succulent remembrance spa.

Ebenezer Scrooge at 10 am on Christmas morning frantically googling "how to cook goose whole goose" and getting a bunch of websites that say like "From time immemorial people have asked 'how to cook goose whole goose.'"

Just opened the Quality Street and what's the deal with the wrappers? Looks like I bought a tin of Kwality Avenue from the indoor market

They've turned up the blurry lights on Nigella to the max, it's like driving home after an eye exam with the pupil-dilating drops

If they had constructed the food-calorie system in the same way they did Fahrenheit, what food would they have made be exactly 100 calories?