HELLHOUSE 2: this time its radon

Jupiter: terrifyingly vast. Looms over the inner solar system like a giant fist. Blasting the cosmos with radio noise like a gibbering Lovecraftian god. Kubrick set the climax of 2001 here for a reason. Moons are spooky too. Spookiest planet, thank you

Neptune: impossibly cold, lurking in the dark on the edge of the solar system. Last stop before the infinite hateful vacuum of the universe.

Saturn: vast, cold, distant, and strange. #1 most alien sky if you could survive there long enough to see it. Would be spookier but a little too beautiful for its own good

Mars: dead Earth. Planet most likely to be haunted

Venus: Earth’s evil twin. You may rank this one higher depending on how big a climate doomer you are

Mercury: dead ball of rock and iron zipping around the sun. Even ghosts wouldn’t bother with it

Uranus: should be spookier, but name is too funny. Sideways. Relaxing blue color

Earth: tiny island of hospitality in the vast howling void of space. Least spooky planet

In honor of the season let’s rank the planets in order of spookiness