They think my most offensive belief about God is that I don't believe in him, when really it's that if he walked into my bar I'd chase out him shouting "we don't serve your kind here!" while pointing to the "No Cops No Abusers No Terminally Divorced Dads" sign.

Yeah. "If he does exist, the God you describe is an abusive asshole unworthy of worship," is not an answer they're prepared to hear.