I’m picturing you saying this as you tie me to the tracks

the only problem is you could never be too far from cover from the rain, or else the collective weight of a sodden shawl would crush you into a singularity

he also spends his time as the Graiae’s optometrist/dentist, and saving sea monsters from princesses

This is clearly the work of Reverse-Perseus

When it finally arrives all that remains is the cover, as the majority has been eaten by Laestrygonians or swallowed by Charybdis. (You’re also pretty sure it’s been sleeping around.)