I am completely dominating my dermatologist’s waiting room right now.

I am completely dominating my dentist’s waiting room right now.

That song that faintly plays in the background when you’re on the Battle Bus in Fortnite is my new favorite jam. I am 53 years old.

One of us is totally dominating the vet’s exam room right now. The other not so much.

Thanks for the feedback and #WelcomeToTheJerkFolder.

Watching Sixers/Celts exhibition game because I’m a masochist and not my best ally.

When I grow up I want to have this level of belief in myself. #sparkles

You just know, despite everything else, all Trump is focused on is the mugshot. He’s been practicing in the mirror all week.

Mostly just sad dad bots following me on Twitter now.