congrats i hope the birth went smoothly!
[cryptozoologist meeting] me: what are the results of this recent bigfoot sighting investigation? fellow enthusiast: we only found one set of footprints and they were human me: aha! [remembering hearing about a similar situation] that was when jesus carried the sasquatch
whats funny i purposely made it diet coke in the joke so it wouldn't get confused with cocaine
pharmacist: are you here for a refill? me: yes [sets down empty glass] diet coke please pharmacist: umm [slides glass back] we dont do that here me: oh my bad [slides glass back again] diet pepsi then
alien: we've picked up broadcasts with some disturbing information from your planet. we demand you show us what is "area 51" me: sure *draws a 3x17 rectangle* alien: hmm *pauses to calculate* holy shit
mob boss: It has come to my attention that within this very room, we have a SNITCH harry potter (hopping onto broom): oh fuck where
street pharmacist
pharmacist: are you here for a refill? me: yes [sets down empty glass] diet coke please pharmacist: umm [slides glass back] we dont do that here me: oh my bad [slides glass back again] diet pepsi then
alien: we've picked up broadcasts with some disturbing information from your planet. we demand you show us what is "area 51" me: sure *draws a 3x17 rectangle* alien: hmm *pauses to calculate* holy shit