According to the protesters, the first thing they yelled was “abortion is a sacrament of Satan.”

It's actually a good encapsulation of what this election is all about: zealots attempting to force their rigid moral code on the rest of us and then hysterically claiming persecution—and the mandate of heaven—when we tell them (however politely) to fuck off. Where have all the lions gone?

Heavy metal guitar solo. Bawawawawawaaaayyyyyayaya.

If you’ve missed this story: 1) Harris had a viral moment shutting down hecklers, whose heckle was inaudible on main feed. 2) Conservatives found clips of them shouting “Jesus is Lord!” as they were pushed out. 3) Story on right became: Harris kicked out protesters bc they were Christians.

Satan can’t perform sacraments. This is basic theology people! (Also Satan doesn’t exist.)