I’ve saved myself from a lot of pain, reflecting on this before I speak. I could have saved more if I’d learned this lesson earlier. The disappointment and frustration of the things that upset us are already painful. Often, fighting just stacks more suffering for ourself and others.

This. A thousand times this. I have not remotely attained this - but it is ASPIRATIONAL.

them: but they're wrong! my job is to educate them! They need to see that I'm right! me: do you want to be right or do you want to be effective?

🎯

Replacing “arguing” with “doing” has done wonders for my mental health. I can’t convince awful people to stop being awful. But I can be good.

Kenny Rogers had it right. You really do have to know when to hold ‘em, and know when to fold ‘em.

I don’t think I bother arguing online (at least what I consider arguing). Though sometimes I also wonder if theres a point to even leaving a considered comment when I could just ‘nope’ outta there and leave stupidity to its own misery.

Regardless, I still forget plenty often and find myself stubbornly debating about something. No one is perfect. Very few people can commit to a value like this 100% of the time for 100% of the things they care about. But even occasionally remembering makes a difference.

During a discussion with my students last year we came to a conclusion: When it comes to our daily lives and interactions, being "right" is worth almost nothing.