I believe this is called hiring a hitman

How to start a fight in the group chat: Drop this and then leave for a few hours.

Archie has three settings: 1. Cuddle 2. Attack inanimate object 3. Attack animate object (me)

I mean, Julius Caesar died surrounded by his closest friends. What more could anyone want?

Me: *pops a can, relishing that glorious hissing sound, whispering* “I’m in my SPAM era.”

I'm part of a group trying to film an actual play session of Dustin Patrick Winter's delightful game Against the Gloom and, in true adults-playing-TTRPGs-fashion, scheduling the session has been the biggest hurdle. www.kickstarter.com/projects/scr...

Against the Gloom

Our Flag Means Death Metal. A dice-based role-playlist-building game about music’s furious resistance to despair.

At work today, I'm taking minutes from a recorded meeting, which is not the most fun task for a number of reasons. But I'm trying to make the most of it with sentences like, "The presenter points out a predicted pinch point at a particular pole." Can't stop won't stop.

Unlike you i get my news from a realiable source…

When it comes to late night snacking, the goal is often to find a flimsy excuse to convey as much mustard as possible into my mouth. Cheese? Crackers? Pretzels? Whatever works.

Me: Basement’s flooding. Them: What? Me: *cocks pile of towels and buckets to catch water* Basement’s flooding.