I sometimes think about how much time he spends each day beautifying himself.

One whole can of hairspray every time

I imagine it’s something like Christian Bake in American Hustle. The scene where his follically-challenged character goes through that whole routine.

a man with a bald head and a striped shirt

Alt: Christian Bale in American Hustle: his character is glueing fake hair to his head in a crazy-looking attempt to hide a very large bald spot.