weird side effect of adhd meds for me is heightened sense of body integration. it's neat to feel like i'm existing rather than puppeting a broken machine. unfortunately, the broken machine has been both a major part of my identity and a coping mechanism for my various health problems.

like why worry that something's not working when my self perception says i can get it fixed or replaced? it's been a dream of mine to do exactly that forever. i'm actively trying to get into uni for it. but now my hands and arms are... mine? it's so weird.