in ohio if you admit that you have read an entire book, half of the people will try to elect you to be a leader and the other half will try to set you on fire. but if you can evade them for 12 hours they'll forget. its like the police stars on Grand Theft Auto

As an Ohio expat, for how much longer are you allowed to talk like this?

Live in Akron. Can confirm.

It's true, I've been set on fire twice just for reading To Kill a Mockingbird all the way through and after I rose from the grave, it was like people were pretending it never happened.

even this one?

I read a whole book in Ohio the last couple of days and they chased me out of the state.

Cincinnati here and you’re not wrong. Goldfish brain is rampant