Me in bed: “I’m gonna get out of this bed, have a cold brew, and get started on chores.” *gets out of bed* *has a cold brew* *watches three hours of Only Murders in the Building* (…seriously tho this show is so fucking good.)

From 0.2% chance of making the playoffs to a game away from the ALCS. Hell of a run. Bless you boys, see you in the spring. #detroitbaseball 🐅⚾️

HOLY FORKING SHIRTBALLS KERRY CARPENTER. #detroitbaseball 🐅⚾️

I just passed a bubble tea place called “Chunky Cup”. I cannot think of a less appealing way to market bubble tea.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but: Your bathroom sink is gross. Pour some baking soda down, pour some white vinegar down, let it break up all that gunk, then flush it with hot water and use a long handled brush to scrub out what’s left. It’ll be gross but worth it.

The experiment continues! Everything is drained and in the fridge. Did some very quick sampling: Vodka butter: Interesting… Butter vodka: Very smooth! Bourbon butter: Flavorful AF. Butter Bourbon: Still pretty bourboney but I like that. Kinda rich too!

I have done the impossible: I made a bad Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

BLESS YOU BOYS! On to Cleveland!!! 🐅⚾️ #detroitbaseball

Holy shit, the Llamas with Hats Epilogue is out!!! 🤩🤩🤩

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but…rent a carpet cleaner. Future you will thank past you.